i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
