She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
