i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
