bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
