i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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