I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
