ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
