Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
birth control should be required to get into college
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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