I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize