the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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