I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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