let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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