I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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