with your own penis?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
