matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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