I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
