wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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