so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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