Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
