You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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