Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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