There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize