I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
