Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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