Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize