I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
