i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize