Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
