I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize