I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My bed smells like the plague
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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