Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
