how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
