Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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