you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
