No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
