Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
