I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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