hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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