Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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