At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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