What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
