I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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