Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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