I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
