ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
