You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
