nut hugger
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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