And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
