R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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