It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
