Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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