Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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