sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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