how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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