Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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