Me. At least after what I've been through.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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