I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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