Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
