I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
