i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
that is very illegal...i love you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
