I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
