never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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