All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize