I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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