We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
