im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize