I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
