He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize