I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have post one night stand depression
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