they need to just BURY HIM!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
